Glamorous

There's all of this fuss going around about how photo-shopped images set a too high standard for beauty and Barbie should look more natural. It got me thinking - where do our children really learn these standards?

Practicing Distractions

Source: Urban Parenting Magazine

Nomophobic: The fear of being without cell service.

I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
        You want thingamabobs?
               I've got twenty!
              But who cares?
                  No big deal
                 I want more



I don't think Disney had our current state of being in mind when this song was written. But take a look around you. In restaurants, at the bus stop, in line at the state fair - everywhere you go you'll find someone on their cell phone or practicing some other form of distraction; 

We always have to be doing something! 

You're doing something right now- reading this blog, perhaps you're even on your cell phone. 

I challenge you to stop practicing distractions. Take the time to enjoy your kids- be there, be ALL there. Enjoy empty moments of time. Don't think you have any free time? You just might find some by taking on this challenge. For 48 hrs- when your dinner date goes to the ladies room, don't tweet. When you find yourself in line at Starbucks, don't try to beat the next level of candy crush. When the kids have gone to bed and the last one's made her last "peep", don't check your Facebook, or your email, or even your missed calls. Breathe in the silence. 

My son (6) and I were driving home from Prescott the other day and he discovered his Nintendo DS wasn't charged. He asks me "mom, can I play on your phone" which I denied him. "Mom, do we have a coloring book?" and we didn't. "What am I supposed to DO?!" he exclaimed. I told him to just chill, enjoy the view, relax. He matter-of-factly replied, "Mom, kids these days don't know how to chill."  

Chill out and enjoy the Journey of Life. 

What distractions are you prone to practice? ;-)

Don't Hate, Let's Educate -part one

I try not to judge other parents, I really try. I've heard another mother say, it doesn't matter what she does as long as it doesn't affect my kids; but if you think about it, what each of us does affects the other. Regardless, I don't judge you for the choices you make regarding your children; you parent your way, I'll parent mine. We all make the best choices we can for our families and I respect that in each of us. What I judge is ignorance. Nothing bothers me more than an uneducated decision or a decision made without thoughtfulness.

Don't Hate, Let's Educate!  In this series, I'm going to cover what I feel are the top controversial decisions we must make for our children- sometimes I see parents make these decisions with great care, other times I see thoughtless choices, often influenced by our media. With a great deal of access to social media, television shows, tabloids and more, we are such a misinformed culture!

Stop the Mommy Wars is derived from the concept that the only choices we have control over are our own. What another mom chooses is her decision – who are we to judge that?  We are each free to make our own decisions and we should support another mother in her own decisions, creating a stronger community.  While I fully believe this is an excellent idea to stop the growing trend of pop culture pitting moms against each other, I also feel we have other battles placed in front of us that must be confronted. So should we fight one another, insisting that each person is in the right? No: Don't Hate, Let's Educate.

Vaccinations

If you don't vaccinate, I must. I will say it- vaccinations are why devastating diseases like polio and rubella are no longer prevalent. Does this mean I'm pro-vaccination? Not really, I'm terrified of them! I cringe every time I take my child to get vaccinated. We don't get all of them; I do my research and take my 'risks' accordingly. The problem I have, is all the crap they put in these vaccinations! I'm sure a lot of parents have an issue with this. Another disconcerting factor of vaccinations is the number of diseases we are now attacking. What every happened to chicken pox parties? What's with the rise in childhood shingles? Perhaps it's along the lines of our sudden phobia of illness. In the 1950's we vaccinated for 5 major diseases. Today we vaccinate for 14 and have combo shots to boot! Learn more in the Vaccine Education Center of The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Parents who weren't vaccinated as children take claim to being the healthiest people they know. Some parents vaccinate their children and claim no ill effects, while others are sure their child has suffered traumatic reactions to one or a combination of vaccinations. So what's a parent to do.  Should I shout from the roof tops that I am right and you are wrong? No, I won't do that. I will make the best choices for my family and you for yours. All I ask is that you know- know what's in them, understand what they are striving to prevent, know the risks of vaccinating and the risks of not vaccinating. Perhaps you'd consider Homeoprophylaxis? Science-Based Medicine argues that due to the law of dilutions, "homeopaths use nosodes as their vehicle for imaginary vaccinations." You decide but please respect the decision of other parents. Don't hate, let's educate!

Formula vs Breastfeeding

A very small percentage of mothers actually can't breastfeed, a very small percentage. So is it fair for me to judge a mother who chooses to formula feed her baby just because? Probably not. But considering what I said before, "as long as your choices don't affect my kids", maybe it is fair to judge. Or in the very least, I can just be angry at what that child was deprived of. I know, s/he's your child, so why should I be angry? Because formula fed children get sick more than breastfed children- can you say school house germs!? (Check out this blog post by The Alpha Parent and scroll down to numbers 9 & 10) In general, babies who are formula fed are hospitalized more and have more health concerns, including asthma, ear infections, meningitis. All of this affects me and my child, not to mention I find our rising obesity epidemic offensive. The CDC says

Improving the health of mothers and their children is a primary goal of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Protecting, promoting, and supporting breastfeeding, with its many known benefits for infants, children, and mothers, is a key strategy toward this goal.

Photo courtesy of Proud to Announce Photograhy

So there you have it! Improving breastfeeding rates is a major goal we are working towards because it does matter and no child should be deprived the benefits of breastfeeding due to an uneducated or selfish decision to formula feed.  [I breastfeed for selfish reasons! and of course for the benefit of my child.] I am coming to realize that my anger is not towards another mother who chooses not to breastfeed but at our culture. So many mothers turn to formula in response to media or fear of social judgment or because they aren't given enough support. I can't fully agree with that last reasoning because the support is there- you just have to look for it. So perhaps, support like La Leche League is overrun and hidden by all those campaigns funded by the formula companies. Formula is no longer being used as it was intended to be used; formula companies got greedy and lactation consultants got ignored for a quick fix solution. I urge you, consider what formula really is and what it was intended for- those few circumstances where a baby couldn't breastfeed- and consider what breasts are really intended for. It is my hope that we all make the best decisions for our babies and given the information it's no secret what that is. Perhaps, like this parent, breast is not best for your family. You deserve respect for your informed choice, despite any disagreement. Don't hate, let's educate.

Fun Fact:

Breastfeeding ensures that vaccinations work properly.

These are just two of the many decisions we'll make as parents on the Journey of Life. 
For more in this series, follow the Journey of Life by email.
Next in Don't Hate, Let's Educate: Birth

Do you vaccinate? Do you cling to breast or bottle? Do you support other mothers whose decisions may differ from you own? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Five Years

I know it's been a while since I've posted and I apologize for that.... 

by Nick Galifianakis of Nick and Zuzu

Mine is better than yours! {A product review}

My wonderful husband bought me a vacuum for my birthday.  Now before you get all mad at him, do understand, it's what I asked for! I have a mostly tile house and a couple small area rugs; so he chose for me the Shark MV3010 Navigator Elite Professional Vac or Steam Rotator  

It steams my tile and vacuums my rugs-- what more could I possibly need?
I'll tell you what more!! A do it all vacuum machine!!

So the other day, a representative from Kirby shows up at my door. They're "new in town and would like to demonstrate their product in hopes that I'll recommend and think highly of them."  Translation: infomercial in my house! But really, they offered to deep clean one room, tile or carpet, or one piece of furniture.  I welcomed a lovely gal named Dallas into our home offering my [hand-me-down] couch to be demonstrated on.  She breaks out this beefy looking, shiny handle and starts putting it togther, showing me all the shiny gizmos and puts it together to become a hunk of a tool, metal vacuum. She vacuumed and shampooed my couch, demonstrated the different attachment options on my mattress(!) and then she showed up my vacuum -my brand new $200 vacuum- on both the carpet and the tile.  Can Kirby steam? No, but it could pick up the dog food and pebbles my vacuum didn't even touch. Yes. Would I trade my Shark for Kirby? No.  Do I want a Kirby? Heck yes! Would I pay a few thousand dollars? I dunno... would you? It is quite the tool but I'm not sure how I feel about spending that much money on anything less amazing than Hawaii.

So, I'll line these two products up, side by side, and let you decide.

	Shark Vac	Kirby Machine
Steam Cleans floors	X	X
Attachments/modes	Steam/2 vacuum modes/ one attachment	A lot!
Vacuum up pebbles on hard tile	X	X
Deep cleans furniture	X	X
Corner ability	X	?
Power rating	2	10
Cost	200	1500 - 3000

Especially parenting young children, we have a lot of house cleaning to do on this Journey of Life.  Will you employ a Kirby??

Frequently UN-Asked Questions {A Birth Circle Topic}

Write down the questions you have for your pediatrician, midwife or obstetrician        
Trust your gut; ask about the things that worry you on a day to day basis
You feel comfortable and cared for

Excellent! So you think you're ready to get the most out of your provider? But wait! There must be more.  That was for the month of May at the Yavapai County Birth Circle- those frequently un-asked questions. Keep reading to get the scoop..

The Nursling and The Tyke

The relationship with your nusling is a beautiful one- a quiet time of bonding, snuggling and smiling eyes.

***
***
Imagine it. Breathe it in.
***
***
Do you have the blissful image in your head?
***
***
The toddler shrieks, the dog barks, a beach ball sails over the couch and hits you in the head.
So how do you keep the balance between nursing and bonding with your newest addition and the wonderful relationship with your tyke?

A Quick Errand

Those words do not belong in a mommy's life!  Nothing is quick.  The simplest task becomes much more arduous when you have an infant in tow.  You have the kid, the carseat, the diaper bag, your purse, your water bottle, the keys, baby blankets, the binky, the beanie and did you remember to do your hair this morning?!  Do you see the picture I'm painting here? 

So enjoy my most recent 'quick errand'

The baby's just nursed so now is a great time to return our latest rental to the video store.  I'm parched so I fill up my nalgene, set it by the door and proceed to change the baby's diaper.  I get him all bundled in the car seat, being sure he's wearing his beanie and has his binky. 

I finally find matching shoes and begin to pull on my jacket and realize, I've forgotten to pee!  It seems to be that the instant you have children you can no longer remember your own basic needs; eating, sleeping, peeing, drinking.



Round 2: I pull on my jacket, grab the diaper bag -we're guaranteed a blow out if I don't have that with me- and lug the car seat out the door with a quick snatch at my nalgene bottle. 

Grab the hide-a-key, snag the car keys off the counter and zip back out.  This is now round 3.  Maybe I should stop counting.  I can't be the only person who takes multiple tries just to get out of the garage.

Now, here is where I must explain that I live kind of far out.  My husband would roll his eyes if he read this because he really used to live in a rural area out of town!  Let's just comprimise and say that I live on the outskirts of town.  So off we go on a [not so] quick errand.

About half way there I realize "crap! I forgot my wallet."  Am I the only paranoid person who carries their I.D. at all times?  And then I pull up to a stop light and look at the car next to me- windows down, music blaring, three young gels having a good time.  "Nope.  They all have their I.D.'s handy; not out of caution but because they're headed to the club (we don't have clubs in this small town) the bar, ready for a good time!" Afterall, isn't that what young, hip gels do on a Saturday night? No matter that it's actually Tuesday but the point being-  Bar? What's that?I don't even remember the last time I had a nice glass of wine.

Now-a-days I'm hoisting a child up for a sip out of the drinking fountain because the childrens' water bottles was used to make a 'river' under the slide at the local park.  No more bar hopping.  Now it's play dates and park hopping.




A little further on my drive I realize "Sh**!  I forgot my phone!"  I'm one of those people who gets anxiety when separated from my phone.  Not to mention I'm on-call.

 Finally, I've arrived at the video store and lo and behold, brace yourself.....

I've
fogotten

the movie!

Welcome to the Journey of Life with children.  When every moment is a mommy moment, quick errands don't exist, your wardrobe may be malfunctioned but it's ok, cuz the little guy holding your hand is wearing a suit with a vest and tie, and a gladiator cape- as handsome as they come!

Nursing Woes

My son, Joshua is a little over 3 months old now and we've been concerned about a rash he has.  Clearly he has an allergy to something.  Well, we had blamed chocolate as the culprit, much to my dismay.  His rash seemed to diminish slightly after about a week or so of eliminating it from my diet but then I got to thinking about how horrible Tide is as a detergent.  I spoke to a friend, who makes her own and realized, "hey! I can do this!"  So I am making my own detergent, we use ...

 

1 part borax

1 part washing soda

3 parts laundry bar soap

or

I've also read about people using ivory soap; it seems most anything you'd like will work fine.  If using the fels-naptha, slice into thin pieces and use a food processor to shred it.

And just as a side note - this detergent is not cloth diaper friendly. I've recently done some searching into that and discovered soap nuts but I have yet to discover where to buy them. And while we're making our own cleaners for home, check out this recipe for window cleaner.

1 part (optional) oxi-clean

The oxi-clean is helpful for stained or "roughly used" clothes.

If I have a stain rubbing some of the bar soap directly on the stain seems to work great!  Another popular soap option is

So my excited self decides to re-introduce chocolate into my diet because surely the evil Tide was to blame for his rash but little man very clearly, or I guess I should say splotchily, disagrees!!  His skin is sensitive, so making my own detergent is a great choice still, not to mention it's great for my pocket-book but apparently I still can't have chocolate.  So I sent my husband to purge the house of all chocolate last night while I slept.  His very well intentioned self went through and got all of it together but due to a slight change in plans this morning that left him a bit rushed while he went to work, he forgot all of it on the kitchen table. 

I'm up making my coffee this morning and there it all is, in one glorious, beautiful pile- taunting me!

For me, this journey of life is not complete without some chocolate;

at least this is only temporary!! 

What have you had to give up for your nurslings?